These Things That Are Not Mine

I would gladly borrow Your knowledge, Lord, so that I could avoid dwelling in the tension of not knowing when this season will end. It feels like life is on hold, and we don’t know what will be left when this is all over. Will there be jobs, food, money? Will there be a future for us, and what will it hold? It seems like the hard things would be easier and more comfortable if we knew the expiration date, if we knew that peace and relief were on the way.

I would gladly borrow Your power in order to make this stop—to keep people from dying and going broke, to make life comfortable and predictable. To keep my friends and family safe, to make sure I’m protected and provided for, to fulfill my own plans and desires.

I would gladly borrow Your ability to be present everywhere. I miss my people, and I long to hold them close. Presence is such an undervalued gift, until we’re suddenly thrust into isolation, and we crave the togetherness that we often didn’t take time for before.

I want to borrow all these things, Lord, but I know that there’s a reason that they belong only to You. You are the One who holds all things together, and You are able to work in all things to accomplish Your purposes. Instead of clamoring for knowledge, help me to trust an unknown future to You my Father, the One who knows me, knows the story from beginning to end, and has made His perfect love fully known. Rather than grasping for control, help me to remember Your sovereignty and be humbly surrendered to You. Your ways are higher than mine, Your purposes are so much greater. Turn my heart to cherish and prioritize the spiritual over the temporal. And when I long to be present with the people I love, let me lift my eyes to You and choose to rejoice and be content with knowing that You are present with them, and that is the greater gift. You know their situations and their hearts. You alone are the God of Peace. May I come into Your presence each day and walk more closely with You, for in Your presence there is fullness of joy.

Seeing Through the Fog

“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  – Philippians 4:8

I’ve found that there are times when my mind can’t wrap itself around words. Maybe you’ve experienced this too. It usually happens when my emotions are especially strong, and I can’t see through the fog. I know I need to align my thoughts and feelings with what God says is true, but it’s hard to remember what I know and it’s hard to grasp the written Word.

How can you fix your eyes on the Lord when the words on the page aren’t communicating to your heart? How do you let truth pierce through the fog? One helpful tool is the many images that Scripture uses to describe God’s character and the ways He interacts with His people.

God is our refuge.

He is our firm foundation.

He is our Shepherd.

Jesus is the Bread of Life.

Christ is the Lamb of God who bears our sin and takes away our shame.

God is the Holy One on the throne.

He is the light to our path, the One who led His people by a pillar of fire.

Dwelling on these images can help fix your mind and heart on God’s character and promises. He is sovereign, strong, gracious, sufficient, loving, holy, and faithful. Even when the words aren’t sinking into your heart, seek to know Him and draw near.

“Oh, that we might know the LORD! Let us press on to know Him.”  – Hosea 6:3a

All Things New

I’m a mess. I cry a lot, for no good reason. I put too much value in the opinion and approval of others. My gut reaction is more often discouragement and fear than joy and hope. All that to say, I don’t have it all together and I don’t have all the answers. But there’s beauty in the mess and brokenness, because it shows how in need I am of God’s grace, and it reminds me that the Lord is at work changing and growing me.

But the beauty of it is, I am not alone. Together as believers we are being remade whole, the image of God being renewed in us. I’ve learned over the years that we need the love, support, and accountability of the Body… it’s in relationship and community that we all grow. This family of believers is an integral part of God’s plan to create a people who glorify Him and make His name known.

Starting this blog is a bit terrifying for me. But I have to remember that He is the author of this story… the truth is His, and I just want to be a megaphone to proclaim it. He’s given me a heart to encourage, to disciple, to counsel, and to equip the church to minister to those in need. This blog will be honest and raw. I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but together we can think and process and pursue truth. We belong to the Lord, and He is making all things new.